


You Ask of My Companions

by inkncoffee



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types, Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan
Genre: 5+1 Things, Alternate Universe - No Gods (Percy Jackson), Family, Father-Son Relationship, Fluff, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-04
Updated: 2018-02-04
Packaged: 2019-03-13 08:57:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,999
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13567173
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inkncoffee/pseuds/inkncoffee
Summary: Five times Poseidon was guilted into buying Percy a pet plus the one time he realized why. Also known as the time Percy asked for a dog and Poseidon said no then, several exotic pets later, spent the rest of the summer wishing he'd just said yes.





	You Ask of My Companions

**Author's Note:**

> Soft warning for minor sexism because men are pigs.

_"You ask of my companions._

_Hills, sir, and the sundown, and a dog as large as myself that my father bought me._

_They are better than human beings, because they know but do not tell."_

\- Emily Dickenson

 

 

 

 

"Can I get a dog?"

This was the greeting the little green-eyed hobgoblin choose to lobby at his father the second Poseidon stepped inside. The words didn't register properly until Poseidon had hung up his keys, shucked off his coat and taken half a step towards the coffee pot.

"A what?" he asked, unable to stop his nose from wrinkling in disgust as he half-twisted to stare at his son.

Percy, three months shy of twelve and already the spitting image of the man across him, blinked up at Poseidon, a spoonful of Fruit Loops pausing en route to his mouth.

"A dog," he repeated, raising his voice as if Poseidon hadn't heard him clearly the first time.

"I heard you the first time brat," Poseidon huffed, mostly so he could process the strange out-of-the-blue request. He finished taking the rest of the steps to the coffee pot, flicking it on and rummaging around their little cupboard space for the grounds.

"Well, you said what, it's not my fault you're old," Percy grumbled, returning to shoveling his cavity-inducing cereal in. Poseidon considered forcing the child to eat something with less sugar or brush his teeth at the least but the thought flitted quickly by; that sounded like a job for his ex-wife not him, he was the fun parent after all.

"Brat," he fired back, swiping a banana from atop their fridge before sitting down across Percy.

Percy shoved in some more cereal while his father peeled the banana, unfazed by the name calling. Poseidon broke the tip off and waved it across the table. Percy rolled his eyes but obediently reached out to take it, popping it in his mouth between bites of cereal. Which was disgusting. Ah to be young again. Poseidon settled back, satisfied his paternal duties were somewhat filled for the day now the child had some potassium in his system and began eating the banana while waiting for his coffee to brew.

"So?" Percy asked after a few blessed moments of silence. Well, it was nice while it lasted.

"So what?"

Percy made a noise in the back of his throat. "Can I get a dog?"

"Where on earth would we keep a dog, Perseus?" Poseidon demanded, sweeping his arm to gesture around the boat that doubled as their home, as if the boy could have possibly forgotten that tiny little detail.

Percy scowled, a divot appearing between his brows. He slunk down in his chair, pouting blackly at his Fruit Loops as though it was the cereal's fault the boat wasn't fit for a mutt.

"It could be a small one," Percy huffed, banging his spoon around the rim of his bowl.

Poseidon thought of a little Shih Tzu, or worse a Chihuahua, an awful little yapper of constantly trembling fur and nervous puke.

"Absolutely not."

"Why not?" Percy complained, throwing his arms in the air and accidentally launching soggy pieces of cereal across the table. "It wouldn't take up much room, it could sleep in my room, it wouldn't eat much! You're being unfair!"

Poseidon wondered how the conversation devolved so quickly. It was only nine am; Percy wasn't usually labeling his father an unfair tyrant until at least noon. _Coffee,_  Poseidon thought,  _he needed coffee_. He twisted around and despairingly watched the maker slowly drip the much-needed elixir.

"I said no, Perseus."

When he dared to peek back, he saw Percy's cheeks darkened, angry red blotches spreading across his cheek and neck. His jaw clenched as he clanged his spoon around the bowl. The sound was obnoxious and grating; Poseidon sighed and stood, not wanting to watch the child's face go through the five stages of doglessness. The coffee maker was still dripping but Poseidon risked it, reaching out to pour himself a cup.

"I don't understand, where is this coming from?" Poseidon asked, putting the coffee pot back under the still dripping machine and taking a long drink.

Percy didn't respond. Ah, one of  _those_ games. Poseidon half turned, one dark eyebrow raising in the hopes of extracting an answer from his stubborn offspring. He wasn't a teenager yet but stubbornness already ran through his veins. Poseidon's own fault, he assumed. It was a family trait—a usually amusing one at that, given it was directed at an uptight teacher or Sally's new husband Paul and not Poseidon himself.  _You reap what you sow_ , a voice annoyingly like his sister's reminded him. Poseidon pushed the thought away, returning to the silent-off his son and him were apparently having.

"Well?"

Patience was never Poseidon's strong suit. Percy let out an explosive sigh—eleven-year-olds were good at those—and slumped back in his chair.

"I just want a dog! I'll take care of it, it doesn't have to take up a lot of space. You can  _afford_ one."

Ah yes, manipulation. Sally always warned him he was teaching the boy bad habits. Hm, well, the joke was on her—if that was the most manipulative Percy got then by the end of this argument he would buy  _Poseidon_ a new dog. Poseidon chuckled to himself, taking another drink. Percy's scowl darkened, knowing it was him his father laughed at.

"You work all day and drag me out to this little boat every summer! I'm states away from my friends and my mom," he accused, eyes wide and stormy. "I'm  _lonely_."

Well . . . shit.

 

 

 

**1.**

 

"Something small and  _not_ a dog," Poseidon instructed, one hand on Percy's shoulder as he led the boy into the hot, cramp pet shop a full forty minutes from the harbor.

They were immediately greeted by the ungodly squawks of colorful, exotic birds, whose shrieks beat even the little bell over the door in announcing their entrance. Poseidon swallowed back a groan, resigning himself to the miserable experience.

"Alright look, small mammals at six o'clock, that'll do nicely."

"Like rats and stuff?" Percy asked, twisting around to look up at his father.

Poseidon, who was trying to limit what promised to be a long affair, ushered the boy forward, steering him towards the rats and stuff. The first cage facing them was filled with rats in various shades of black, brown and white. Three lay in a heap, another ran on a wheel, and a fifth cleaned itself in the center, two beady black eyes fixed on the father-son duo.

"See, lots of fun," Poseidon said cheerfully. Percy twisted his neck, his face a perfect template for the disbelief Poseidon himself felt. "Fine. Go look at the hamsters."

Poseidon gave Percy a little push forward, following behind as they traveled deeper into the chaos. "They're bigger and hairier," Poseidon said, eyeing the rodents with barely hidden distaste. "Oh look, buy one get a wheel half off, how droll—"

A glimmer caught Poseidon's eye and the familiarity caused his head to turn. "Oh, fish."

"I don't want a fish," Percy scoffed, trying to pull away. "We live on the  _ocean_ Dad, you're always bringing fish on board why do I need another?"

"Yes and goldfish are awfully dull," Poseidon agreed distractedly, peering into the wall of blue. The collection was small but the little fishes flitting back and forth weren't goldfishes. His eyes flickered down the nameplate and he frowned.

"That isn't right, the fin is high but the coloration is all wrong. And they aren't tropical, why is the water temperature so high—"

"I'm going to look at the hamsters, Dad."

"Yes, yes, okay—excuse me, Miss, what kind of fish are these? The coloration is all wrong. Well yes, I'm certain, I'm a marine biologist."

The discussion exploded from there. The twenty-something-year-old cashier went and double checked the digital catalog, her eyes stormy and teeth clenched, then called the manager and had to haul up the physical catalog from the back before discovering the labeling error.

"Ah yes, that makes more sense," Poseidon chuckled, taping the top of the aquarium fondly. "It's all in the coloration you know."

"Are you going to buy one  _sir_ ," the cashier ground out through tightly clenched teeth.

"Oh god no, why would I want one of those? My son, Percy, wants something fuzzy. Right, Percy?" Poseidon ignored the black look the cashier sent his way—it was familiar, women often granted him such expressions—and found his side child-less.

"Percy?" Poseidon called, stepping towards the hamster section. Fat little hamsters ran gaily on wheels or stared sleepily up at him but there was no raven-haired menace underfoot. Poseidon's heart gave an uncomfortable lurch.  _Reptiles, boys liked reptiles, that's where he had to be_ , Poseidon rationalized as his feet beelined him through the store, heart in his throat.

"Perseus?"

"Dad, hey dad, can I keep him, please?"

Poseidon whirled and spotted his mini-me's head peeking around a door in the back. "Dammit, Perseus," Poseidon said crossly, rubbing his chest to force his heart back down to an acceptable level.

Percy was unfazed by Poseidon's scolding. His father reached out to gently rap his knuckles against Percy's raven hair, then smoothed the unruly strands back a second later.

"Don't run off without telling me," he scolded. "Your mother will kill me if I don't return you in September."

"Yeah, you'd be dead," Percy agreed casually. "Well, you were so wrapped up in that stupid fish so I went looking for my pet. That  _is_ why we came here you know."

Poseidon grunted, squeezing the back of Percy's neck.

"So, while you were so wrapped up in the stupid fish—"

"They were incorrectly labeled."

"—and making that girl cry—"

"It's hardly my fault she can't handle her job properly."

" _So_  while you were being a jerk, I checked out the other animals. Remember, pet?"

"I am aware."

"Because I'm lonely."

"I said I'd get you a pet, Perseus."

"So I found the pet I want. Let's pay and leave then."

Poseidon frowned down at Percy. Percy's eyes were wide, his face carefully devoid of emotion.

"Don't ever play poker kid." Poseidon ruffled the kid's hair with a smirk. It was going to be so easy to catch him sneaking around in his teenage years. "Show me the animal first."

Percy's shoulders slumped. "He's in the back. He's only here for transportation but Dad! Dad, he's great, he likes me and they say he'll probably be put down because he's lame, Dad, but that's not fair! He's nice and funny and we can't let them turn him into—"

Poseidon froze. Standing in a makeshift, run-down barn through the backdoor of the pet shop was a large, black—

"—glue."

Horse.

"A horse."

"Can we keep him?"

Poseidon whirled, gaping at Percy than back at the full-grown  _horse_. This was supposed to be a pet store, not a farm! It was supposed to be a nice, little, normal pet store, why was there a barn with a horse? A worker stood at the entrance of the barn, watching the pair out of the corner of his eye.

"Is this part of the pet store?" Poseidon demanded.

His confusion muddled him enough that he didn't stop Percy from darting forward.

"Yes," can the bewildering reply. "The shop teamed up with the local humane society. Their center is at least forty miles from here so instead of dragging the animals all the way up there, they bring 'em here. Even the bigger ones. Animals have a better chance of getting adopted if they're at a pet store than the society anyway so they'll have a better chance here."

At Poseidon's still dumbfounded look, the worker grinned.

"Can we keep him, Dad?"

Percy had found his way to a step stool, the extra height allowing him to reach the black horse inside. The horse, darker than night, had uneven teeth and wild eyes, but it nuzzled against Percy, who grinned widely, burying his hands in the mangled, unkempt mane.

"His owners abused him." Percy's eyes blazed with injustice, his jaw clenching. He ran his fingers gently through the unruly mane, his movements careful and loving before leaning his head against the horse's.  _Danger, danger_ , Poseidon's mind blared the warning.

"Which is awful, now come on Percy, let's go back and look at the rats." Poseidon stepped forward, arms outstretched to call the child back to him.

"He'll be turned into glue!" Percy objected, head jerking up as his fingers tangling deeper in the horse's dark mane.

The horse let out a wild neigh, snorting and rolling his eyes. Percy smooshed his face back against the beast's.

"I'm sure someone else will adopt him," Poseidon dismissed, still holding a hand out to the irksome child. He could only see half of Percy's face but it was enough to spot the discontent, the way Percy's eyes flickered and his lips twisted.

"What's wrong with it? Is it sick?" Poseidon demanded, exasperate. Sally would  _really_ kill him if he let their son catch horse flu or whatever. He was a marine biologist not that kind of biologist.

The worker looked from Percy to Poseidon, scratching the back of his head. "Well . . . he does have a few cognitive challenges."

"He was abused," Percy interjected angrily, possessively curling closer to the beast. Oh, this wasn't good.

"Perseus—"

"He's lame!" Percy exclaimed, scarlet with indignation and fury. "He can't walk straight but that doesn't make him any less important! I love him, I could take good care of him. Why should they kill him just because he doesn't think or act like other horses? Someone hurt him!" Tears gathered in the corner of Percy's eyes. He blinked furiously to dispel them, his nose scrunching up and face blotchy red. "Something's wrong with my head too, but that doesn't mean I'm less right?"

 _Sweet Lord have mercy,_  Poseidon thought in panic. Where was Sally when you needed her?

"No, Percy, kiddo, squirt, we've talked about this. Dyslexia, ADHD, they don't make you less of anything—" Percy scowled, jaw set and his chin dangerously close to wavering. "No, Percy, it doesn't. Nobody thinks less of you or," Poseidon turned his eyes heavenwards. Lord help him, the things he did for this child, "the . . . horse. It's not a matter of worth or—do we need to take Blowfish up on his therapy offer?"

Percy looked struck by lightning. "God no! No!"

"Well then," Poseidon said in relief. "I love you, your mother loves you, your self-esteem needs some work—let's go get a hamster."

With that Poseidon bodily lifted Percy off the stepstool. Percy, who was still trapped in the horror the word 'therapist' conjured, was caught unawares.

"What? No! I want Blackjack, Dad!"

Percy kicked and twisted so violently that when Poseidon plopped his feet back on the ground, Percy fell flat in the dirt, like a beetle on its back. Poseidon pinched the bridge of his nose. This was supposed to be a quick trip.

"Dad!"

You'd think he was torturing the child. Percy scrambled back to his feet, reaching out and tugging on his father's arm.

"Dad,  _please_ , he—he needs me."

"We live on  _boat,_  Perseus."

"We can stable him, most people do—"

"You'd never get to see him."

"We'll stable him here! We always come here, Grandma lives here and she'd love to check in on him for me. Are you gonna stop visiting Grandma?"

"There are perfectly adequate hamsters and rats inside Percy, why don't you—"

"Dad, please. He's made for me. Like the ocean calls to you, he calls to me."

Poseidon stared down at Percy, whose fingers dug into his father's arm, his ocean-glass green eyes wide and childlike, reflecting light like the sun off the ocean.

"Oh for the love of—how much for the damn beast?"

 

 

 

 

 

**2.**

"Yes Mother. Yes, we're saying goodbye now. Yes, his water and feed troughs are full. Percy—Percy is out with the damn—don't Poseidon me—oh . . . yes, I know you're my mother. Yes, I know Percy needs the damn—oh he's almost twelve Mother, he's heard the word before. I am—yes. Yes. I'm letting him say goodbye I just said that! I am—I—oh for heaven's sake—Perseus!"

Percy froze, face too innocent.

"What are you doing?" Poseidon demanded suspiciously. A quick once over told Poseidon that Percy had snuck the damnable creature some sugar cubes, which Poseidon had strictly instructed him not to do. That boy spoiled the horse, it would be the size of a house by the end of the summer.

"You've fed him enough, what did I just say, oh forget it. Smile for your grandmother, she doesn't believe I'm letting you say goodbye."

"He's torturing me, Grandma!" Percy shouted with an impish grin.

"Yeah, whatever brat. Move closer to the beast and smile."

Percy obligingly shuffled closer to his horse.

"Smile Perseus, work with me. I bought you the damn horse."

Percy snorted.

"Shut up and smile, imp."

Poseidon snapped a picture of the snorkeling demonchild—it was close enough to a smile—and sent it to his mother.

"There, I sent you a picture. Ask Hestia to show you how to open it. No, I'm not going to walk you through it. I'm going now, Mother, we have a deadline. Yes, yes, we'll be back in a few weeks. Yes, I will phone. Yes, he knows. Yes, I'll tell him anyway. Percy, your grandmother loves you, put the horse away now and get in the car!"

"Love you, Grandma," Percy shouted, grinning from ear to ear. Poseidon liked to think any additional sass he might have given was tampered by the fear of his father's withering glare. Percy bit his bottom lip, looking every inch the evil imp he was, but lead the horse back into his stall.

When Poseidon finally managed to detangle himself from his mother, Percy had his butt parked on the hood of the rental car, legs swinging back and forth.

"Off," Poseidon called, snapping his fingers like Percy was the dreaded dog. "Get down you heathen."

Percy rolled his eyes but hopped off.

"Do I have to stay with Aunt Demeter tomorrow?"

"It'll only be for a couple of hours. We're meeting with the FBI—"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, illegal animal importation, blah, blah, I know, I know—"

"—and they will  _not_ let a child sit in."

Percy opened his mouth. Poseidon firmly cut any argument off, "And I will  _not_ leave you alone in a government building. God only knows what havoc you'd wreck."

"Or I could get kidnapped," Percy objected, cross-eyed as Poseidon all but shooed him into the car. "Or injured."

"Nobody would want to kidnap you, you're a nightmare, they'd be begging to return you," Poseidon dismissed, climbing in the driver's seat. "I have to pay your aunt to watch you for the day."

"Aunt Demeter loves me!" Percy argued.

"Don't flatter yourself kiddo. She thinks you're an ungodly heathen she can tame. Women like that. Now, buckle up."

Percy scowled and refused to talk for the remainder of the drive. He thought it was a punishment but, ha, joke was on him, Poseidon enjoyed every second of blessed silence. They got to the boat and the forecast was still in their favor so Poseidon heaved anchor and began their journey south. Sixteen hours and yet another rental car later, Demeter's sun-wrinkled face smiled upon them.

"Brother dear," she greeted as Poseidon pushed a half sleeping Percy into her farmhouse.

"Percy darling." Demeter's eyes crinkled as she reached dirty hands out to embrace his child, pressing a kiss to the crown of his head.

"I don't know if you've heard, sister dear, but there's a new revolutionary invention on the market."

"Oh?"

"Yes, they're called  _fences_ and they keep annoying little pests away from my car when I'm trying to park in your driveway."

"I'm free range Poseidon, and don't you dare hit one of my baby goats. They were born seven weeks ago and I'll be able to sell them here soon. My 4H kids can't wait to get their hands on—"

"I'll be back in eight hours or so, Demeter, don't let Percy near your horses he's dangerously obsessed with the beasts at the moment."

"Your interest in my life is always heartening, brother, don't let the door hit you on the way out. Speaking of hitting, hit any of my goats and it'll come out of your hid."

 

* * *

 

The conference was invigorating. The FBI were closing in on an illegal animal smuggling ring. Lionfish were the pressing concern for the Gulf region and the recent influx of the creatures was causing problems. So, as the resident expert on the debated ecosystem, Poseidon was called in. It was with a certain satisfaction that Poseidon gave counsel. These blockheaded feds and local fish and wildlife guides were clueless blunderheads and he greatly enjoyed flaunting his expertise over their ignorance. The head of the local FBI office was a woman of perhaps seven or eight years Poseidon's junior, and she sat across from him, legs crossed with a sharp smile, gorgeous eyes sparkling as he presented.

"That was an impressive presentation," she praised as the conference broke up. "I would love to talk about it over dinner."

"You would be delighted I'm sure," Poseidon flirted back with a grin, leaning closer. "But, alas, you caught me at an inopportune moment, I'm afraid. I have to rescue my son from the claws of his aunt least he hate me forever."

"Oh?" she asked, her disappointment tempered by his joke.

"But, if you're going to continue keeping me on the operation, which I assume you are as these idiots obviously cannot afford to do without me, I'll take a raincheck for later this week, if you want to give me your number."

"You're something aren't you?" she laughed and he left with her number in his contacts.

Poseidon whistled the whole trip back to Demeter's, immensely pleased with himself. Nothing could ruin this day. Maybe he'd even let Percy ride one of Demeter's horses to get the kid to stop mopping. The irksome tiny goats were absent when he pulled up, Poseidon noticed with amusement. His sister really mustn't trust him. In the distant field, he spotted the figure of said mistrustful sister, sickle in hand. Shoving his hands into his pockets and continuing to cheerfully whistle, Poseidon braved the muddy field as he marched out to greet her.

"Sister dearest," he called, flashing all his teeth when he drew close enough. "How bountiful is your yield?"

"It's June, Poseidon," she reminded him without looking up, giving a swing of her sickle, which slickly cut through the grass. "I'm only weeding. I take it the conference went well."

"Marvelously," Poseidon assured her with a wink. "Though not as golden as your luscious wheat, dear sister."

Demeter snorted, her face smudged with dirt as she knelt down. "Keep your conquests to yourself, I don't want to hear about them."

"Dear, sweet Demeter, always so genial. Whatever did I say of a conquest?"

"You don't have to, I'm your sister."

He gave a full-bodied laugh. "Right you are. Where is my heathen then? How was the imp?"

"Far more angelic then his father," Demeter muttered. "He kept the kids away from my field as I worked. Here, hold these."

She held a basket of freshly pulled weeds, which he took, as she pushed herself to her feet. She lifted a mud-covered finger to the right, where several figures could be found frolicking. "He's over there. Let me dispose of these and I'll join you."

"Much obliged sister," he thanked, returning the basket to her and moving towards the rambunctious shadows.

Percy's unrestrained laughter greeted him and Poseidon's grin increased as he watched his son running around, tiny baby goats tripping over themselves as they desperately tried to catch up. Percy stumbled as one jumped in front of him and, in order to avoid trampling the thing, tumbled to the side. The second he hit the ground, the goats poured over him, Percy laughing hysterically.

"You've been overcome."

"Hi Dad," came the slightly muffled reply, not even lifting his head as the furry mob climbed all over him.

_Baa!_

One of the goats hopped excitedly over Percy's face.

"Baa," Percy mimicked. The goat was so startled it froze up, legs locking into place until the tiny thing toppled over next to Percy. Naturally, Percy found this hysterical, cracking up as he reached out to pet the stunned creature.

"Making friends I see."

"Yeah," Percy said happily, surging up into a sitting position, grass in his hair.

He pulled the excited no longer stunned goat onto his lap, craning his head up to look up at Poseidon as the other goats enthusiastically tried to jump up and bite his hair.

"They really like him." Demeter had returned, walking up behind them. Gone were the weeds and sickle, but dirt still stained her face and hands.

"Yes, I can see that," Poseidon said, shaking his head.

The goat Percy held bleated, trying to eat the collar of Percy's shirt. Percy's eyes were trained on his aunt, though, seemingly unconcerned.

"Can we stay for dinner Dad?" he pleaded. "It's okay with Aunt Demeter."

"Oh is it?" Poseidon asked with an amused tolerance, turning to his sister.

She watched Percy with a motherly look in her eye that never boded well. "Yes, we talked about it. You know I love having people for dinner."

That . . . sounded terrifying, Poseidon thought in mild alarm. To wait for Demeter to finish tending her fields, or worse, compel  _him_ to kneel in the dirt to accelerate the process; picking vegetables and waiting for freshly baked bread to rise—lord, they'd never make it out of here.

"Love to sister dear but we need to return to the boat."

"I hear there's a storm brewing."

Percy piped up. Poseidon shot him a dirty look.

"No, there isn't. So, can't leave it alone for too long, I have work I need to do tonight anyway, lovely seeing you again sister—"

"Come on, Dad, please?"

Poseidon frowned at the troublesome child. Normally, Percy couldn't wait to get away from Demeter's farm, a very willing accomplice to the quick escape (Poseidon readily let his sister use him as free labor after all). Percy batted innocent eyes. Damn kids, never working with you when you needed them too.

"I thought you were excited to go diving tomorrow," Poseidon asked with a forced smile. "Can't go diving if I don't finish my work so let's hop along."

He held his hand out to help the indignant child up. Percy's lips turned down, choosing to snuggle the goat closer instead of cooperating.

"Well," Percy hesitated as the goat mowed away at his collar. His eyes flickered over to Demeter, whose eyebrows rose. "Well, Aunt Demeter and I were talking and . . . and she said I could have a goat."

Poseidon stared down at the child. "What?"

"Come on Dad, please! I'll take good care of him and Aunt Demeter told me all about his diet and we could—"

"A goat?" Poseidon couldn't believe his ears, staring at Percy in utter confusion and no small amount of frustration.

"Percy Jackson, why do you seem to be continuously forgetful of the fact that we live on a  _boat_?"

"Dad please, we could make a nice pen for him in the office and Aunt Demeter says they eat hay — and he's a Nigerian dwarf, a miniature goat Dad, he won't get any bigger than—"

Poseidon pinched his nose. Through gritted teeth, he said, "You got a horse."

"But I don't get to see him every day! And even when I do see him, I go back to the boat alone—"

"You're the one who wanted a horse!"

"And you can't always be there and I still get lonely 'cause Blackjack is so far away."

"A boat, Perseus, a boat!"

"Aunt Demeter said—!"

"Oh lighten up, Poseidon," Demeter cut in. "I have a care package all made up for each goat so you'll already have the right stuff to begin. You just—let me talk—need a large enough area for him to roam and I've seen your boat. Now, I've never heard of a goat living full time on a boat before, but I'm sure he'll get used to it. The Navy used to keep goats on boats before proper refrigerators."

"What?"

"Give it a shot," Demeter told him as she held her hand out to Percy. The traitor took her hand and let his aunt pull him to his feet. "If the goat doesn't like the boat, bring him back before you leave. Percy is very attached and pets are very good for children. They teach responsibility, empathy and make for the best companions."

All the while she talked, Demeter brushed grass and dirt off Percy's shirt, straightened his hair and the pair shared a warm smile.  _Bonding, they were bonding,_  Poseidon thought in horror.

"Yes, sure pets might be—" he began but Demeter cut him off.

"We're done discussing, Poseidon." She smiled down at Percy. "Come, let's go pick up your starter pack. You want the little brown one, yes?"

"Yeah! I think I'll name him Grover, what do you think?"

"That's a lovely name, dear."

They left Poseidon standing in the middle of the field, a gaggle of goats running after the two, wondering what the hell just happened.

 

 

 

 

**3.**

"There's something wrong with that animal," Poseidon declared. The kid in question (kid as in baby goat and not the green-eyed demon Sally made him take home every summer) was happily bouncing around the kitchen, butting against Percy's legs only to retreat, run around the room, then do it all again.

"There's nothing wrong with him!" Percy defended, grinning from ear to ear as Grover bashed his barely visible horns into his ankles.

"What kind of goat  _likes_ the rocking of a boat?" Poseidon grumbled, eyeing it mistrustfully as it shook its tiny head,  _baaing_  happily.

"Mine," Percy said proudly as Grover tore around the room, his long spindly legs trembling as he circled the table.

"Uh-huh," Poseidon said, glaring at the infuriating creature. "Anything he eats while we're gone is coming out of your allowance."

Percy wrinkled his nose, trying to discreetly pass a handful of Fruity Pebbles to the excited goat. "I get an allowance?"

Poseidon downed the rest of his coffee, ignoring the question. "We leave in fifteen minutes, do what you must to lock the creature away."

"Come on, Grover," Percy called, hopping off his chair. Little Grover bleated, running after his crazy owner to what used to be Poseidon's private office but apparently wasn't anymore. The now goat-safe pen-room was where goat feeding, sleeping, bathrooming, and pen holding all took place.

"I filled your water and food up," Percy chattered, getting on his knees to embrace the trembling goat. "Got your toys out and bed all set up if you get tired."

 _If diet coke cans counted as toys_ , Poseidon thought with a roll of his eyes as he gathered up his things, eavesdropping on the child's unnecessarily dramatic farewell.

"We shouldn't be gone for more than a couple hours. I'd take you with us but we're going undercover at an illegal animal convention to catch some bad guys."

"Don't phrase it like that when you talk to your mother," Poseidon begged with a pained sigh. He could already imagine the lecture that would get him.

"I lend credibility," Percy informed the goat.

"And God only knows what condition the boat would be in if I left you alone," Poseidon added. "Now, come on, squirt, or we'll miss it."

In the end, Poseidon had to all but drag Percy off the boat and they were in the car twenty minutes later than planned. Poseidon grumbled under his breath until they hit city limits, when he turned to the sulking boy.

"Alright, now you have to stick by my side the entire time, Percy got it? No wandering off."

Percy grunted.

"Perseus, this is very important," Poseidon said irritably. "Do not make me turn this car around and drop you off at Demeter's."

"Got it," Percy grumbled.

"I mean it, Perseus. There will be dangerous people there."

Poseidon saw Percy wrinkle his nose out of the corner of his eye. "They're not like mob or anything. They only smuggle illegal animals."

"Which makes them  _dangerous,"_ Poseidon groaned. "They stand to lose a large amount of money if their operation is compromised and people do stupid, dangerous things when money is at stake. We are not there to be detectives, just to scout and see what animals are being sold."

"Yeah, yeah."

"Perseus."

"I got it, Dad, I got it, sheesh."

Poseidon sighed and wondered how Sally would kill him if Percy were to be kidnapped by smugglers.

"Why don't the police just storm the market and arrest them?" Percy asked, crossing his arms.

"Because most of the trade is legal. If you want the usual illegal pets, like monkeys or lion cubs, they aren't brought to these exhibits. So the big ticket obvious illegal pets aren't here and the subtle illegal ones, like tropical fish or reptiles, are. But most FBI and policemen can't tell the difference between a legal fish and an illegal one. It's not like with a monkey where everybody and their mother can look and say yep that's a monkey, fish are impossible unless you study them. So if you can't prove it's illegal, you just spook the smugglers and they never come back and there goes your link to the smuggling ring."

"So they call in people like you to go and check it out first?"

"Yes, exactly, I'm the expert," Poseidon said with a wink.

Percy snorted, "Sure, okay Dad."

 

* * *

 

"My side, whole time," Poseidon firmly reminded Percy as they climbed out of the car twenty minutes later, tightly wrapping his arm around Percy's shoulder.

"Got it, got it, c'mon Dad, do you gotta?"

"Yes, now hush."

Inside the complex, they were immediately hit with a wall of pungent humidity, ears assaulted with squawks and shrieks of unholy pitches. Reptiles were the first fares at the helm of the mess and Poseidon had to drag Percy away from a tank of colorful turtles.

"I want to find fish," he reminded the child, carefully positioning Percy in front of him, one hand on each shoulder.

"You're no fun. Oh, what's that?" Percy asked, pointing at a vendor as they passed, who had a large scarlet bird perched on his shoulder, piercing golden eyes watching them.

"A bird, Perseus."

"But I've never seen that kind of bird before—oh, what's that?"

"Another bird."

"Yeah, but what  _kind_ of bird?"

"Perseus, please."

His pleas went unheard.

"What's that? Can I touch it? Ew, so gross, let's get closer. Can I hold it?"

"Children huh?"

Poseidon turned his sour expression to the speaker and found himself staring at a crookedly smiling vendor . . . and a fish tank.

"Oh, good, fish, thank god, Percy!" Poseidon exclaimed, his relief not even slightly exaggerated as he tugged the wayward child closer to the tank.

"Oh yeah," Percy said disinterestedly. "I don't know why you love fish so much. Fish are boring."

That was oddly . . . helpful of him, Poseidon had to begrudgingly admit as the vendor chuckled.

"So what kind of fish do you have here?" Poseidon asked, peering into the tank.

Perfectly legal tropical fish swam below, ignoring the men hovering above them. Poseidon leaned in, eyes drifting over the pearl white sand, squinting for anything out of place as the vendor began his pitch.

"Hm, these are tropical fish, yeah?" Poseidon asked when the man paused for breath. "I already have three of those and oh that one too. Hm, have one of those too. Is this all you have?"

The vender's eyes were dark, a smile curved at the corner of his twisted mouth. "What you see is what I have, Mister."

"Rather boring lot, Poseidon disapproved, arm slung over Percy's shoulder to keep him still. "There's nothing here I can't get at a pet store."

"Have to be a very special pet store," the vendor said.

"Common" Poseidon's voice was disdainful. "There's nothing remotely exotic here."

That was perhaps the wrong thing to say. The vender's eyes were closing off. Poseidon kept his face impassive, cursing himself. He pushed too fast, he was more than some snobbish collector dammit, he messed up—

"Dude, is that a two-headed snake?" Percy exclaimed, unpleasantly yanking Poseidon from his thoughts. He tightened his hold on the irksome demon, who lurched forward to try and plaster his face against the glass of one of the containers.

"Dad! Dad, look it's a two-headed snake!"

Poseidon, twice his son's height and fully able to see the serpent, was unimpressed. "Yes, it's common in snakes—"

"Ah, yes this is Medusa," the vendor cackled, leaning down to be eye-level with Percy. "Very rare, one of a kind—"

Poseidon rolled his eyes. Please. A two-headed albino snake would be rare. A two-headed, what was this? A garden snake likely—a two-headed garden snake was nothing to write home about.

"Yes, Percy, but the fish—"

"Does it have to eat twice as much? Does it ever try to go in different directions?" Percy loudly interrupted.

Poseidon scowled at the rude interruption,  _really now Percy you know I'm working_ , but the vendor gave a deep bodied laugh. "Well now, lad, sometimes it tries and let me tell you, it is a sight to see! But she's a friendly freak, only eats crickets and very easy to care for. Doesn't eat no more than the next snake. Very low maintenance but boy what a pet to have!"

"Very easy to care for, Dad," Percy repeated.

Seeing where this was going, Poseidon scoffed irritably, "I bought you a horse and a goat already, Perseus. You don't need a snake too."

The vendor's eyes lit up at the words, suddenly giving Poseidon his full attention.

"Oh? Well, now, snakes make wonderful pets you know, especially for lads his age."

Poseidon glared down at the heathen and Percy, grinning, winked.

"She's super cool," Percy enthused.

Dollar signs basically popped up in the vendor's eyes and he launched into a pitch. Percy  _ahhed_ and  _ohhed_ at all the right times, wide-eyed and nodding. Poseidon turned his eyes heaven-ward, wondering what he ever did to desire this.

"—and when I returned to Perth some months later, the locals told me they had never seen—"

Poseidon's ears perked up. "Perth?" he repeated. "You've been to Western Australia?" Lionfish were native to western Australian waters.

"Yes, yes, beautiful country, the Australian Water Dragon over there on the right, actually, I picked up on the last trip and if you look carefully—"

The vendor droned on, making grand sweeping gestures towards his wares, and Poseidon was able to innocuously slip questions into the conversation. He managed to slip all his questions in by the end, satisfied that he had more than enough information to wow the feds.

"Alright, kiddo, it's getting late." Poseidon smiled as he gently dug his thumb into the side of Percy's neck.

"We have yet to settle on a price," the vendor pipped up.

Poseidon frowned. "I have all your fish, I do not wish—"

"For Medusa, Dad," Percy interrupted. "My snake."

"You're  _not_ getting a snake."

The vender's eyes switched from Poseidon to Percy, brow furrowing.  _Shit,_ Poseidon thought. He couldn't afford to stir suspicion.

"You have enough pets."

"C'mon Dad, he said it was easy to care for, it's rare and—" Percy's eyebrows rose significantly, flickering to the fish.

Blasted kid. Poseidon snuck a peek at the vendor, who was starting to frown. Dammit. Poseidon ground his teeth together, staring daggers at his son. Percy blinked sweetly up at him, all wide-eyed and innocent.

"Alright, alright," Poseidon snapped. "How much were you thinking?"

When they finally climbed back in the car, Poseidon had a lighter wallet and a smug devil-child carrying a tank with a damn two-headed snake.

"Medusa's a good name, I like it," Percy said with a wide grin.

"You're a terrible, terrible, manipulative demon-child and I'm going to send you back to your mother," Poseidon threatened as he climbed into the car, watching with a black look as Percy carefully situated his disgusting new pet in the back seat of the car.

"I  _saved_ you," Percy gleefully reminded him when the doors were closed and all body parts inside. "He was suspicious and ready to shut us off."

Poseidon huffed, too proud to confirm the truth.

"So really, you owned me and I deserved Medusa. Besides," Percy grinned widely. "Now you get to show off and rub it in the fed's faces that you could do what they couldn't. So, really, we all win."

Poseidon couldn't argue with that. "Put your seatbelt on, imp."

 

 

 

**4.**

"Why couldn't I wait in the boat?" Percy sulked, sitting low in the rental car.

"Because your mother would kill me if I left you alone for hours on the boat."

"Okay, but why couldn't I bring Grover?"

"Because he's a  _goat,_  Perseus." Honestly, only his child would ask why he couldn't bring a goat into a federal building.

"Why couldn't I bring Medusa?"

"Because she's a  _snake_ , Perseus."

Percy sulked harder, sinking impossibly lower in his seat as he scowled out the window.

"One of the feds has a son your age who will be there, he can entertain you for the hour or so we'll be there," Poseidon tried to console him, reaching out to clap the boy on the knee.

It didn't quite do the job he was hoping for. Percy turned the scowl on his father. Poseidon thought about reminding Percy the school counselor thought he needed more friends but quickly decided against it; Percy was angry enough without Poseidon adding fuel to the flame.

"You'll get along great, I'm sure," Poseidon said instead. Then, frowning, "Don't go blowing anything up now."

"It was  _one time_."

"One time is one time too many," Poseidon muttered, giving Percy the side-eye. "I hear this kid has a nasty habit of blowing more things up than you. I don't want to have to put out any fires today, literal or otherwise, capeesh?"

Percy gave his father an unamused look. Poseidon rose his eyebrows meaningfully. His spawn's response was to turn back to the window and sulk for the remainder of the trip. Which was never as effective of a punishment as he thought it was. The ride ended when they pulled into the parking lot of a large, unassuming brick building a few minutes later.

"Chin up, it's only for a short while. I give my report, listen to them drone on, and I believe they brought in Hephaestus, the father of the boy that you'll be shackled to, to help draft a plan for a trap. He's good at those."

Hephaestus wasn't quite a fed; Poseidon couldn't exactly say  _what_ Hephaestus job was, actually, only that the man walked in and out of federal buildings like an overlarge, awkward ghost, dressed in oversized overalls stained with oil and grease. An expert at springing traps and crafting delicate but powerful machinery, he often appeared at meetings like this. Not that Poseidon had many meetings with the feds, but they happened. His brothers Zeus and Hades had more stories to tell about the mysterious Hephaestus.

It was this mysterious figure that greeted them when they walked in. Standing half a foot taller then Poseidon, his gait uneven thanks to the metal brace that permanently entrapped his left leg, was Hephaestus. One giant hand rested on the shoulder of a boy Percy's age, the polar opposite of his father; Leo Valdez was smaller than Percy, all skin and bones. Concerningly, there were a collection of band-aids spotted around the boy's face and peeking out from under the boy's collar, Poseidon could see white gauze. Oh boy.

"Percy, this is—"

"Leo!" The boy introduced, trusting an arm out with a grin missing two teeth.

"Don't blow anything up," Poseidon reminded Percy with a sigh, pushing Percy toward the boy.

Percy gave his father a wounded look, letting the excitable Leo haul him across the lobby. Hephaestus, on the other hand, gave a grunt, which didn't give Poseidon confidence in the boys' ability to stay out of trouble.  _As long as the building was still standing, he would count it as a win_ , Poseidon decided, putting the concerns in the back of his mind.

Poseidon followed behind the lumbering Hephaestus to a room on the third floor. A table full of feds greeted them and, as Poseidon's eyes flickered between them, he found a familiar face smiling coyly; the woman from the last meeting. Poseidon grinned, sending a wink her way as they settled in. The information Poseidon had gathered proved invaluable. The FBI thought they could rig and spring a trap in the next few weeks; utilizing Poseidon's information they planned to send fish and wildlife officers undercover to flush the leaders out now that they knew where the operations were. Poseidon's work here was more or less done. They could handle the rest. He might get pictures sent his way for identification but his array into federal legwork was finished.

Hephaestus disappeared the second the meeting adjourned but Poseidon hung around, watching the woman across the table. She smirked under his lazy gaze, rising up from her seat to greet him.

"So, are we still on for Friday?"

"Wouldn't miss it for the world," Poseidon flirted, grinning down at the beautiful woman. "I'll pick you up at eight."

"It's a date," she agreed, leaning in and Poseidon copied her, leaning closer and closer until their noses were practically touching.

"And what do you have planned for the evening?" she whispered, breath ghosting across his face.

"Well, you'll just have to wait and find out, won't you?"

Her breath was sweet as she gave a little laugh. "How about a hint?"

"Hm, I don't know, I can't give it away for free you know. It would cost you something."

"Oh? Well, you might find me willing to pay, depending on the price," she grinned, tipping forward to close the gap—

"Olympian, take your spawn."

The woman pulled away, chuckling at Poseidon's scowl as Hephaestus's deep voice broke over them. Poseidon whirled, turning his displeased scowl on the man, only to find Hephaestus propelling Percy forward with one giant hand. Percy's eyes flickered from Poseidon, who had perched himself sitting half on the table leaning over the woman, to the woman's giggling face. He wrinkled his nose, giving Poseidon a clear  _gross Dad_ sort of look.

"Come now," Poseidon placated, thrusting an arm out to summon the boy. "Thank you, Hephaestus."

Hephaestus grunted. "Not your babysitter, Olympian," he muttered as he left.

Poseidon ignored him. "Come here, Percy, there's someone I want you to meet."

Percy wrinkled his nose harder, reluctantly shuffling closer until Poseidon could wrangle him in. "This young, handsome rascal is my son, Percy," Poseidon introduced with a wink, giving Percy a gentle shake.

The agent gave a laugh, holding a hand out. "How do you do?"

"Hi," Percy said awkwardly, letting the woman shake his hand. He craned his neck around to look at Poseidon. "Can we go home now?"

Poseidon laughed, ruffling Percy's hair before dropping the keys into the boy's hand. "Go on, I'll be there in a sec."

"Good." Percy couldn't look more relieved. He took one step toward the door before turning back with a wrinkled brow. "You're coming right?"

"Right behind you," Poseidon cheerfully assured him. "Just want to say one more thing."

"Alright . . ."

Percy gave them one more long look before taking off down the hall.

"He's adorable," she laughed when the door swung shut.

"Yeah, he's great."

"He didn't seem to like me all that much though," she said, moving to collect her things. Poseidon didn't pout at the loss of the intimate moment because he was a grown man, but he did heave a sigh as he accepted its death.

"It's not you, it's the idea of kissing and dating in general—he's eleven, that's gross you know."

Her smile returned with feeling. "Oh yes, young boys. Well, he's a handsome one, you did good. See you Friday at eight."

"I look forward to it."

Poseidon held the door open for her, watching her hips sashay as she walked away.

All in all, it was a  _very_ good day.

Poseidon was grinning as he left the building, spying Hephaestus's son lurking around the front door, who darted off when Poseidon appeared.  _Squirrely boy,_ Poseidon thought, amused as he pushed the front door opens and stepped out into the daylight _._ Percy had the car started but as Poseidon drew closer, he stared curiously at the child, who was craning his neck impatiently from the back seat of the car.

"I normally have to fight to get you back there," Poseidon remarked as he climbed into the car.

"Yeah well . . ." Percy shifted uncomfortably in the backseat.

Poseidon pulled out of the parking lot, one eyebrow raised. "Are you sick?" he teased. "Did I pick up the wrong child?"

Percy scowled at him in the review mirror.

"Why are you sitting funny?" Poseidon asked, noticing for the first time how Percy sat leaning forward, shoulders hunched.

"I'm not sitting funny."

Poseidon frowned. "Are you sick, for real? Did you and that boy get up to something and injure yourself? Ugh, the kid did run from me, dammit."

Percy didn't respond, turning his head to the side as his lips pressed together stubbornly.  _Great,_ Poseidon thought in exasperation.  _Just great._

"Did you break something? Burn yourself? Twist? Cut? Bruise?"

" _No,_ Dad—"

"Don't make me stop this car—what was that noise?" Poseidon sharply added as an odd noise chirped. It was small and not unlike the chittering of a squirrel. Oh no, he didn't.

"Perseus Jackson, is that an animal?!"

The guilty look that flickered cross Percy's face confirmed his suspicion. Poseidon slammed on the brakes, having not even made it any further than the end of the parking lot. He threw the car into park and whirled in his seat to glare at the boy.

"Really now, Perseus! I bought you a  _horse_. I let you bring a goat on my boat. I bought you the snake—"

"Our boat," Percy grumbled.

"What?!"

"You said 'my' boat," Percy murmured, staring down at the wire cage he tried to conceal between his feet. An obnoxious pink wheel sat in the middle of the cage, a cheap purple igloo-like thing in the corner and in the middle, some little puff of multicolored fur.

"Is it your boat . . . or our boat? Do you not  _want_ me—"

"Oh Perseus Jackson, quit being so melodramatic," Poseidon accused crossly. Lord, the kid grew more manipulative by the day. Where had that one come from?

Percy kept his eyes downcast.

"Oh for heaven's—no, Percy, of course I want you here, yes okay that came out wrong. I was angry, it is  _our_ boat Percy. It was a slip of the— _our_ boat, we have a goat on  _our_ boat which is ridiculous Percy, goats don't live on boats but I let you have one and now  _this_ is how you repay me."

"It's just a robo dwarf hamster," Percy interjected, head snapping up, eyes brighter than the moon. "Leo's dad said he couldn't keep it because he blew up the kitchen toaster and we can't let it go back to the pet store! It's too old, but I can take care of it! It's small, Dad, look at it! It doesn't eat much and look—" he eagerly leaned down and lifted the cage up "—the cage is small! It won't take up much room! We just have to tie it down like Medusa's cage."

Poseidon tried to intervene but Percy spoke faster, hugging the cage tightly against his chest. "And, and, look! Look! One half of its body is white and the other half is brown. Leo said it's a chimera, so like it used to be a twin but they morphed together or something as babies and now it's like this. How cool is that?" Percy paused for breath, all but panting.

Poseidon looked at the tiny animal. It stared up at him with beady eyes. Behind them, someone laid on the horn. Poseidon whipped around, scowling, slamming down on his own horn in reply.

"Go around!" He shouted, gesturing widely for the car to go around. "I'm parenting here!"

He glared at the car as it swerved around them, fighting the urge to flip the jerk off as he barely avoided clipping their mirrors in his rush to leave. Poseidon glared at car until it turned out of the parking lot, tapping his fingers aggressively on the steering wheel. Out of the corner of his eye, he watched Percy in the review mirror; Percy curled himself protectively around the cage, bringing his knees up and chin down as though he could protect the creature from Poseidon's ire. He looked depressing, eyes too wide and lips barely jutting out.

"That," Poseidon said finally, slowing turning back around to face the child, "was the most interest in science I have ever heard you express."

"What?" Percy asked, blinking up at his father. Realization sparked in his eyes. "Ah, I mean, yes. Very interested. Chimera makes me want to learn science."

Poseidon barely kept a straight face, but his eyes were probably grossly soft and fond.  _Ridiculous child._

"I will  _not_ take care of it."

"I'll take care of it!"

"It's a mammal, it'll be more work than Medusa in upkeep."

"I'll keep the cage perfectly clean. I'll clean it every day!"

 _That was a stretch,_ Poseidon thought with a mental roll of his eyes. "This is the last and I mean absolute  _last_ pet you are getting, got it?"

"Yes, yes, absolutely!"

Poseidon grunted, not so sure if Percy did completely get it, but the boy was grinning from ear to ear, his death grip on the cage now one of elation instead of terror. His father turned back around, sitting correctly in his seat once more. Percy's grin in the mirror was blinding as he started the car back up.

"But don't think you're going to get away with trying to sneak a dirty rat into my car without asking," Poseidon warned, wagging a finger at Percy in the mirror. "You are so getting punished."

Percy didn't look the least bit frightened, settling back in his seat, Chimera safe on his lap.

 

 

 

 

**5.**

"Can't you stay the night?

Poseidon, who was in the middle of buttoning up his coat, gave a pause. He finished the last few buttons, leaning over to search for his shoes, without making a reply.

"Poseidon."

The voice was amused now and Poseidon looked up with a grin. His date raised an eyebrow, her hair loose and cascading over her shoulders as she watched him prepare to leave.

"I had a smashing time," he avoided, leaning over to kiss her.

She tried to pull him down for a long, deep kiss but he pulled away. She pouted and he laughed warmly, grabbing his shoes from their place discarded hastily by the door.

"We will do this again sometime," he promised.

"Stay," she repeated, holding her hand out in invitation.

"I would love to and I am very tempted, believe me, my lady," Poseidon chuckled even as he checked his pockets and headed for the door. "But the boy will be quite upset with me. I am already later then I said I would be."

The father card usually did the trick and sure enough, she sighed, leaning back so her dark curls fell over her eyes. She certainly was pretty, but hardly worth the trouble of an irritated Percy.

"Dutiful father rushing back to tend his young."

"Yes, that's the idea. Now, Daddy's gotta run. But I'll call you."

"You better."

He probably would call, Poseidon thought as he left the apartment and hailed a taxi. He whistled the whole way home, generously tipping the taxi driver in a manner that was undoubtedly in excess and was still whistling when he opened the door to the boat. The sitter, Poseidon's own semi-reliable nephew Hermes, rose an eyebrow at his cheerfulness.

"Good date then?" his nephew asked with a crooked grin from his place at the kitchen table, a laptop open before him.

He was quick to close the top when Poseidon drew closer but the biologist didn't dwell long on the secrecy; he was better off not knowing, undoubtedly. As long as Percy was in one piece, Hermes could do whatever he liked, it was of no concern to Poseidon. He would even applaud any illicit activities if they angered the sister-in-law from hell, Hera.

"Indeed," Poseidon agreed, throwing his coat on the kitchen table and spinning the keys on his finger. "How was the heathen?"

"Oddly quiet. He stayed in his room with his . . . pets, the whole time." Hermes rose an eyebrow at the word  _pets_. "It's a rather . . . eclectic bunch."

"Yeah, don't ask," Poseidon dismissed. "How much do I owe you?"

They made their exchange and Poseidon bid Hermes goodnight before checking in on Percy. He found the boy as indicated: in his bedroom, surrounded by his creatures. Percy sat cross-legged on the bed, hair damp from a shower. Grover curled up at his side, head rested on the boy's knee as his owner gently stroked him behind an ear. Nestled on Percy's other knee was the new hamster, eyes closed as Percy ran a single finger over its head, looking far more content than any rodent had a right to be. Even Medusa's cage had been moved closer.

"Hey, Perce, you still up?" Poseidon asked, lightly rapping his knuckles against the door despite it already being ajar and seeing the boy obviously awake.

"Yeah . . . you're late," Percy muttered without looking up.

Poseidon hummed, expecting the reply. "Little hamster thing settling in alright then?"

"Yeah." Percy was silent for a moment, continuing to pet the hamster thing. Grover gave a little  _baa,_ nosing at Percy's pants. "We're out of milk. And Medusa needs more crickets."

"Yeah, okay, we'll go to the store tomorrow." Poseidon frowned, watching Percy's rhythmic petting and dull eyes. "You feeling alright, kiddo?"

"Yeah. Think I'll go to bed."

"Okay."

Poseidon watched Percy gently shake Grover off, curling Chimera close, holding the little rodent over his heart as he shuffled over to the creature's cage. Grover stayed on the bed,  _baaing_ softly as he and Percy's father watched the boy gently set Chimera in his cage. Percy, with more delicacy than his gangly preteen frame suggested he could, ran a finger over the minute hamster's head before pulling away. Percy locked the cage, his fingers curling around the metal bars and sticking inside. Chimera gave the fingertips a sniff before turning around on its little spherical hindquarters and making a beeline for the annoying plastic wheel. Percy gave a little sigh, his fingers falling back down to his side.

He turned, jumping a little when he spied Poseidon still lurking in the doorway.

"Why are you still here?" Percy demanded, trying to cover his surprise with anger as one hand dramatically flew up to his throat.

Poseidon ignored the question, scrutinizing the boy's scowling face instead. "Are you  _sure_ you're okay? Did Hermes say something stupid?"

Zeus's children were known to cause ruckus.

"I said I was  _fine_ ," Percy repeated, scuffing his feet against the floor as he turned around. "Tired. Night."

His angry, clipped words did little to assure his father and indeed contradicted the boy's own words but Poseidon allowed the prepubescent moodiness and retreated to his own room. Percy would sort himself out or eventually come complaining so Poseidon could fix whatever was causing his moodiness. Always had to do things the hard way, that boy.  _He gets that from you,_ a Sally-like voice whispered in his mind. Poseidon shook his head, a reluctant smile tugging on his lips.

"Alright, kid, goodnight."

As an independent researcher (and current federal scientific expert) Poseidon's schedule was as fluid and ever-changing as the ocean itself. He woke an hour before dawn and began his day. After brewing a strong pot of coffee, he braved the cool ocean air to take some readings and check his equipment. He sat on the helm of the boat, bare feet dangling in the water, coffee balanced on one knee and a laptop on the other as he cataloged the collected data. Dawn had just begun to break, the sky blushed in pink, when a figure plopped down next to him.

"I need milk for my cereal."

Poseidon frowned, coffee suspended en route to his mouth. The figure sounded like Percy, it looked like Percy, but it was barely a quarter past five and Percy never rolled out of bed until well after nine. Poseidon reached out, coffee cup still in hand, and nudged the phantom.

"Cut it out!"

Hm. Well, it was probably Percy then. Poseidon sniffed, returning the coffee back to its intended target, i.e. his mouth. He'd need the caffeine to deal with whatever made Percy get out of bed so early.

"What on earth are you doing up so early?"

"We're basically out of cereal too. And Medusa still needs crickets."

Kids. Honestly, there was no making sense of them. Poseidon drained his coffee. Percy plucked at the hem of his almost too short shirt, impatiently watching him. Poseidon swore he bought the damn shirt only a few weeks ago. The kid was growing like a weed.

"Still alright kid?" Poseidon asked the oddly silent boy.

"Fine. Hungry."

"Alright, we'll go to the store then," Poseidon said lightly, setting his equipment aside.

It took nearly twenty minutes to pack all the equipment away and his son was still uncharacteristically silent throughout the entire affair. He glanced at Percy out of the corner of his eye and found the boy gazing out at the calm ocean waves, eyes large in the budding sunlight. Poseidon casually reached out under the guise of using Percy's shoulders to balance himself as the boat rocked, letting his hand linger on Percy's neck before running his hand up to pat the boy on the head, an elaborate scheme to try and nonchalantly check the boy's temperature. He felt normal. Percy made a face but didn't object to the invasion of his personal space, which only made Poseidon frown harder. Dads not-so-subtly checking your temperature was 'uncool' he was pretty sure, and unnecessary touching in general was frowned upon by most prepubescents.

Getting Percy to talk was akin to pulling teeth, so Poseidon let it go and shuffled the kid off to the rental car. The trip to the nearest grocery store was nearly thirty minutes and Percy sat staring out the window for its entirety, not even fiddling with the radio as he normally did. So Poseidon fiddled instead, settling on an obnoxious old country station that he was sure would rouse the boy to some form of excitement but Percy gave no indication he even noticed.

The grocery store didn't open until seven so Poseidon dragged them off to a breakfast joint, hoping a greasy, fatty breakfast might reanimate Percy. Percy predictably ordered blueberry pancakes (Poseidon blamed Sally for the boy's unnatural obsession with blue food) and Poseidon all but forced him to shovel down fried potatoes and thickly sliced ham in a desperate bid to pump him full of protein; by the end Percy looked decidedly full but no more animated than when they came. Poseidon mentally threw his hands in the air and gave up.

Fine, let the boy sulk. He'd come around eventually.

By the time Poseidon paid for breakfast and shepherded his sulking son back to the grocery store, it was six fifty. Poseidon sipped tasteless coffee from the cheap paper to-go cup the breakfast diner provided, waiting for the store to open.

Percy, never good at waiting, seemed to be trying to see how low in his seat he could sink.

"What's that?"

"Hm?"

It was the first time Percy had spoken basically since ordering his stupid blueberry pancakes and Poseidon actually stopped mid-sip in mild surprise.

"That," Percy repeated, pointing.

Poseidon followed the direction and found himself watching a strange older man set up a stand of sorts before the grocery store's gate.

"No idea—"

"Let's check it out," Percy said, flinging his door open and disappearing quicker than Poseidon could even process his words.

"That's what I get for wanting him more animated," Poseidon grumbled, sighing as he climbed out of the car and trotted after the boy.

When he caught up, the old man was dumping something from his own cupped hands into Percy's.

"What's that?" Poseidon called, suspicious at once as he protectively hovered over Percy's shoulder, trying to get a look at the thing.

"A Mexican red rump," the man said proudly. "And she's a beauty."

"And what exactly is a Mexican red rump?" Poseidon demanded, not liking the sound of this as he leaned over Percy's shoulder—only to swear colorfully when he saw what exactly a Mexican red rump was.

The creature was as large as Poseidon's fist, hairier than his nephew Ares, and eight-legged with a bright red hindquarter.

"It's a tarantula," Percy said.

"Yes, thank you, I can see that,  _why_ is it on your arm?"

Percy was quiet as the old man, a vendor of sort Poseidon assumed sourly eyeing his other wares, defended the disgusting creature.

It's quite docile, the vendor claimed, blah blah, easy to care for, blah, blah, not that active, blah, blah. Poseidon said nothing, letting the man prattle on as the tarantula made its slow up his son's arm.

"Percy?" Poseidon demanded, cutting the vendor off.

"She's cool," Percy said almost indifferently, without looking up. When Poseidon didn't make a reply, he heaved a great sigh, reaching his other arm over to gently scope the spider up. He hesitated a moment, then held it back out to the vendor.

"Wait."

Poseidon cast his eyes to the sky. "How much is it?"

Percy's face lit up, a smile breaking over his stupid face as he whirled on his father.

"Not a word out of you," Poseidon pulled out his wallet. "Don't let me forget salt water tablets."

 

 

 

 

 

**+1**

"Do you really think it's a good idea to invite your ex-husband to your wedding?"

"We're adults, Poseidon."

"Won't your new husband be jealous?"

"Of course not because he's an adult, Poseidon, and besides, what's there to be jealous of?"

 _Rude,_ Poseidon thought as he heard the sound of paper turning in the background. He stood in the kitchen, getting the coffee ready with one hand, the other holding the phone up to his ear as he was apparently being invited to his ex-wife's wedding.

"You're an important figure in my life, Poseidon, and the father of my son. Besides, I need someone to be with Percy that night."

Ah, babysitting duty. "Will there be an open bar?"

" _Poseidon."_

"Alright, alright. Of course, I will be honored to attend, Sally, and be on my most perfect behavior. It'll be a beautiful ceremony I am sure, let me know if there is anything I can do for you. I can certainly keep Percy from burning the church down."

Sally clicked her tongue disapprovingly. "Percy wouldn't. He loathes to upset me."

"Hm. Yes, you're too right there, he does hate that. Wish he'd extend that to me."

Sally ignored him. "I don't want him to feel left out."

Poseidon sighed. "Alright, alright, I'll keep him occupied. We'll sample the open bar together."

"There won't be an open bar." Then, sternly, "And you will  _not_ give our underaged child alcohol."

Poseidon laughed heartily, digging out a coffee cup and giving it a courtesy wipe before pouring himself a cup of coffee. "Alright, alright, cake then."

There was more ruffling of paper. Poseidon could easily imagine Sally Jackson, beautiful despite the world-weariness that hung around the corner of her eyes and mouth, sipping a tea and writing the next great American novel. He smiled fondly at the image, taking a long drink. Even if things didn't work out between them, Sally was right about one thing: they were still important figures in each other's lives.

"The wedding will be the Sunday before Percy's spring break, it should already be marked on your calendar."

"Probably."

"We'll take our honeymoon then, so you'll have Percy that whole week without having to worry about taking him to school."

"Shall I have to explain to him what exactly a honeymoon is?"

" _Poseidon_."

"Alright, alright, just checking. He is almost twelve you know. That's a conversation better handled by you though."

"You're not getting out of that one," Sally warned. "But save the date. And for heaven's sake Poseidon, if you take him into international waters again, be sure to  _bring his passport_ this time."

"You'll never let me forget that will you?"

"Never." There was another pause, the sound of ceramic scrapping against a hard surface. "How is he?"

"Strangely and intensely obsessed with pets," Poseidon grumbled. "Child goes nearly twelve years without a pet and bam, suddenly it's all he can think about." Poseidon frowned as a deep voice buzzed in the background. "Is that Blowfish?"

"Blofis," Sally scolded. "And yes. I have to go, Poseidon. Write down the date and don't forget about it. You'll have him the whole week. Give Percy a kiss for me and tell him I'll call when you're docked in Virginia."

"Uh-huh," Poseidon said absently as the line clicked off.

He let the phone fall from his shoulder, catching it the crook of his elbow before tucking it safely away in his pocket. Coffee in hand, he quit the kitchen and stepped out on deck.

A storm was brewing in the Atlantic. Poseidon went to work, tying his equipment down, one eye on the sonar, the other on the sea. They would sail back up the coast to Virginia, dock in the harbor near his mother's until the storm passed. They weren't needed here anymore and Poseidon grew restless; the FBI had moved on, the trap had been laid. The rest was up to brute muscle of the law. Poseidon had already turned his eyes to the north. It was Great White breeding season. Pregnant females would be moving through Cape Cod about now. Sally wouldn't be the happiest to learn this was where he was taking their son but it should cheer Percy up. And perhaps this summer, Poseidon would make another great discovery.

Who knew, there were a few weeks left in the season.

Twenty minutes or so before Sally called, Percy had run off to the store at the end of the dock, declaring he needed an ample supply of empty calories in order to survive the journey back to Virginia. Poseidon could see his raven head bobbing up and down in the store window.

Satisfied, Poseidon turned back to his task, listening for the sound of Percy's return. Sure enough, a couple moments later, he heard footsteps announcing the boy's arrival.

"About time, come on, I want to make sure you tied down those pests of yours nice and good. I will  _not_ be happy if halfway to Virginia, I find a snake in the fridge."

Percy didn't respond. Percy never missed a moment to back sass his father so the silence set alarm bells off for the hundredth time that summer. Poseidon abandoned his task to lean over the side of the boat and watch Percy gingerly climb aboard—a cage almost too large for the eleven-year-old to cradle in his arms.

"Perseus!" Poseidon accused furiously, stalking up to the boy.

Percy resolvedly avoided his father's gaze, clutching the cage like a lifeline.

"Haven't I brought you enough confound creatures this summer? Five, Perseus, five! I bought you  _five_ pets, crazy, exotic, filthy—what is this?" Poseidon demanded, too angry to finish his sentence, coming to a halt before Percy, hands sternly on his hips.

"Well?" he demanded when Percy made no reply. "What do you have to say for yourself?"

Percy shrugged, which proved a dangerous action given his precarious grip on the cage.

"What is this?"

"A dwarf angora rabbit," Percy muttered.

"Why?" Poseidon's voice was sharp and clipped.

Percy hunched his shoulders. His arms shook violently, causing his whole body to shake as the cage, with its furry content, was too large for him to carry. The cage slipped down his chest so Percy jerked his knee up to compensate, which set him completely off balance and the idiot nearly toppled overboard.

Poseidon sighed, deflating a little at the ridiculous sight.

"Here, you're going to break something, give me that."

Percy's mouth stubbornly twisted and he resisted as Poseidon stepped forward to take the cage from him.

"Perseus."

Percy met his eyes, stubbornness edged into every inch of his face as he suspiciously eyed his father.

"I'm not going to hurt it, Percy, just stop you from hurting yourself, come on now."

Percy's lips convulsed. The cage lurched again as Percy's arms shook but before either cage or boy could collapse, Poseidon swooped in. Percy gave in with an unhappy sigh, allowing Poseidon to pull the cage to safety.

"There we go," Poseidon said, setting the cage down on the newly cleaned deck.

"Sit," Poseidon instructed, turning back to his son.

The command, and the unusual seriousness behind it, caught Percy's attention. Poseidon was the fun, not serious parent after all. Even things as simple as breakfast nutrition were danced around and awkward, serious conversations avoided like the plague. Well, half of Europe was dead, it was time to purge the rats.

Poseidon rose an eyebrow and Percy obediently sat, obviously unnerved by the strange seriousness.

"This is all your fault, I hate these conversations as much as you," Poseidon accused, sitting down across from him. "If you could just be a normal child and use your words, we wouldn't have these problems."

Percy's mouth downturned, eyes flickering over to the cage.

"Now, wait a minute—"

But it was too late. Percy lifted the monstrosity of hair out of the cage and plopped it onto his lap. Curling into himself, Percy drew his knees up to his chest, cradling the animal over his heart. A pink nose twitched before nuzzling into Percy's neck. Poseidon heaved a great sigh, running a hand over his face. Lord give him strength. He didn't even ask where the monstrosity came from, jumping to a different, more important point instead.

"Why the animals, Percy?"

Percy made a nonsensical noise in the back of his throat.

"Can't I keep her?" he begged, avoiding the question. "I'll clean her cage, all their cages, so it won't smell and she doesn't make much noise—"

"I don't—!" Poseidon started to explode before catching himself. He took a deep breath, exhaling slowly to try and lower his blood pressure.

"I want to know why," he said slowly. "Why the dog? Why the horse? Why the obsession with the pets?"

Percy's nose twitched disturbingly like the rabbit's. Still avoiding his father's eyes, Percy combed his fingers through the rabbit's hair. The rabbit gave a sniff before rubbing its face happily against him.

"Are you going to keep seeing that lady?" Percy blurted out.

Poseidon frowned, thrown by the question.

"What lady? What does this have to do with the animals?"

"The FBI lady." Percy ran his finger over the rabbit's pink nose. The happy bunny attempted to nibble the offered appendage and Percy only half-hearted attempted to stop her.

"You introduced me to her."

Poseidon's mind churned slowly. "Hm. Yes, I did . . . but you just happened to be there, I hadn't planned on it. Do you not like her or something?"

"Is she your girlfriend?"

Oh boy. This was uncomfortably close to the birds and the bees conversation he fully intended to push off onto Sally.

"Ah, well, it's a bit more complicated than that Percy. But no, no she's not my girlfriend."

Like a puppet whose string had been cut, Percy's shoulders fell, his face relaxing.

"Oh." He wiggled the finger the rabbit munched on. "Did . . . did Mom tell you Paul asked her to marry him?"

"Yes, we talked about it this morning actually. She's afraid I'll sneak you alcohol during the wedding."

Percy's shoulders tensed again and Poseidon frowned, him and the rabbit both taking notice. The blasted vermin pushed its nose against Percy's fingers and the father took a good, hard look at his only son. Percy had said he was lonely back when he first asked for a dog. Poseidon had thought he was simply getting more manipulative but . . . but maybe . . .

"You didn't—you aren't—your mother and I divorced, Percy," Poseidon said, tripping over his words as he tried to find the right ones. "You weren't holding onto some hope that we would—?"

"Oh God no," Percy interrupted, his nose wrinkling. "Mom deserves better."

Well. Poseidon didn't know whether he was more offended or relieved.

"But we love you anyway," Percy quickly added.

"Hm. Yes."

Poseidon watched Percy's face carefully. He reached out, forcing Percy's chin up. Percy fought it at first but eventually looked his father in the eye. There were bags under his eyes, his skin pale and lips pulled tightly together. In short, the kid looked miserable.

"Is it . . . do you not like Paul?" Poseidon asked slowly, letting his hand fall as the conversation grew more awkward. He couldn't imagine that conversation:  _hey Sally, yeah, this is 110% not jealousy speaking, but our son hates your fiancé._

Percy's lips squiggled. "No, Paul's fine. He's nice. He really loves Mom."

"Which is  _good_ ," Poseidon said, still speaking slowly, toeing this strange line to find the sore point.

"Yeah . . ."

"And your mom being happy is good."

"Of course it is," Percy said crossly. "Mom's the best."

Poseidon only hummed in response. Percy stared over his shoulder at the sea behind them.

"Am I gonna be spending more time on the boat?"

Poseidon wasn't sure what that meant. Damn kid kept jumping from subject to subject.

"Once we reach Virginia?"

"No, I mean after," Percy interjected irritably, flapping his hand in the air as if it somehow signified  _the wedding._

"After the wedding? Yeah, sure, you'll be with me after the wedding—"

Percy looked like Poseidon punched him.

And Poseidon finally got it.

"Just for one week, though kiddo, just one week. Hey, move over."

Poseidon shoved the rabbit's cage aside, cementing himself to the kid's side. He threw an arm over Percy's shoulders and gave the ridiculous child a shake. Alarmingly, after his head stopped bobbing, Percy deflated and curled into his father's side.

"Your mom isn't abandoning you, Percy! She's not going to get married and forget all about you. She's your mother, for crying out loud. You're her entire world, kiddo, always have been. Her getting married won't change that. She's not going to shove you off onto me so she can gallivant away with her new husband."

"Really?" Percy asked, his voice painfully young as he twisted to look up at Poseidon. His brows were drawn together, lips pinched and he looked like the little boy who used to crawl into his father's bed because there were monsters in his closet.

"Really," Poseidon promised firmly, squeezing Percy's shoulders. "It'll be different, Percy, I'm not going to lie. Paul's going to be a steady part of your life from now on and that's going to change how you do some things. But your mom's not going to love you less or spend less time with you. Her love for you will never change. Moms are funny like that. When they love someone new, it doesn't mean they love everyone else less, the amount of love they have just grows."

Percy thought about this.

"So, things aren't going to change?"

"No, kiddo, they're going to change, but only your routines, not how much your mom loves you. Never how much your mother and I love you. You're not being replaced. There's no need to get all depressed and hoard animals to love you. Promise your mother and I will always love you enough."

Poseidon smiled, watching the words click in his son's mind. He laughed a little, ruffling Percy's hair before plopping a kiss on the top of his head. It was a testament to how worried Percy had been that he didn't object.

"She's not going to send me away more?" Percy asked hesitantly.

"Nope," Poseidon promised, popping the 'p'. "She'll still have you basically all school year and I'll still steal you away in the summer."

"Not even weekends?"

"Only if you want me to kidnap you."

Percy thought about it. "Will Paul get annoyed with me?"

"We all do, kid, you're right annoying sometimes," Poseidon teased. "But only for a short while, like your mom and me. Paul likes you. He's gotta, or your mom wouldn't marry him. And if it comes down to it, she'll always choose you over him. She picked you over me."

This brightened Percy up immensely. "Yeah, she did."

"There's a good boy. Now, run along and tie all your animals down nice and tight. This one too, I guess, since we don't have any time to return it to where ever you nabbed it from. I swear boy. But this is the last one! Any more and I'll take Paul up on his therapy offer quicker than you can blink."

Percy wrinkled his nose. "I don't need a therapist!"

"You didn't do a great job of convincing me otherwise this summer, kiddo," Poseidon teased with a broad grin. "Now beat it. There are few things left I need to tie down."

"Are you . . . still gonna see that FBI lady?" Percy asked hesitantly.

"Maybe, maybe not. We'll see. But don't you go worrying. I'm not getting a girlfriend anytime soon, much less marrying anyone. Besides, I always come back. And don't tell anyone, but you're probably my favorite person in the world."

He gave an exaggerated wink and Percy's entire persona brightened, his face lighter than it had been all summer as he gathered the rabbit's things.

"Okay. Can we see Blackjack when we stop?"

"Yeah, sure, kiddo."

"Awesome." Percy straightened up, the rabbit's things all tucked in his arms, a wide grin on his face.

Poseidon couldn't help smiling back, relieved to finally see a true smile on the boy's face.

"Oh and Percy?" Poseidon called before the boy disappeared inside the boat.

Percy turned. "Hm?"

"Love you, kid."

"Gross." Percy grinned. "Yeah, whatever. Love you too, old man."

"Brat," Poseidon fondly called as Percy disappeared.

The door swung shut behind the boy and Poseidon turned back to the boat, watching the helm gently bob in the calm water. Walking to the edge of the boat, he pulled his cell phone out of his pocket, dialing the old, familiar number.

"Hello, Sally? Yes, I know you said you were busy, but this is important. It's about Percy. No, he's fine but we need to sit down and have a talk. All of us— you, me, Paul and Percy. No, no, I think everything will be okay, just need to soothe some fears."

Poseidon untied the boat from the dock.

"Although, there is the matter of deciding where the pets will stay. No, that wasn't a mistake, I said pets plural."


End file.
